After feeling very much like I wanted to put anyone eating a slice of pizza, cheese, fries, cookie, burger, in front of me thru a wall and cursing Patrick under my breath at each meal, I am slowly pulling away from the edge. I really think taking that kids' ice cream and throwing it at his overweight mother was very cathartic and I highly recommend it.
Last couple days have been better and despite the workouts getting tougher and tougher, I am starting to feel a bit more into the whole process again. Food wise am branching out a bit more, I did a salad with chicken, cucumbers, onions, red peppers, and tomatos for lunch today, put it on top of some brown rice for the carb portion and then tossed it with a yogurt, garlic, lime, and pepper sauce and sprinkled some fresh parm on top, was actually pretty good, and easy to make so will probably put it in the rotation going forward. I still miss dinner, not just the food, but the sitting with people, talking, enjoying a meal together at the end of the day. Something sorely lacking as I sit at the table watching my girlfriend eat her pasta while I have a cup of sludge. I also finish in about 1/5 the time it takes her which leaves me sitting and watching and thinking how much I would like a bite. I've gone to just cracking an egg white in a glass with milk in the morning and then eating raw veggies and some whole wheat toast or whole wheat English muffin for breakfast, has sped up the process, can't say I am loving the meals though....isn't eating supposed to be one of the great pleasures in life? Like sex, fine wine, or making fun of the French? I am taking the view that this program is actually going to make me that much more appreciative of a fine meal when I can finally eat them again.
Last couple days I have blown thru the jumprope, did the 1400 jumps yesterday in just under 9mins, today was a bit more difficult, took about 12 mins to get through. Am trying to do as much as I can in one go without letting myself get too winded, some days I can make it thru 1000 before I really feel like I need to catch my breath, other days I start to feel short of breath after a few hundred. Find chest related and back related (sans pull ups) to be the easier muscle groups to workout, the burn hurts but not like it does for abs, shoulders, legs and arms. And this bicycle ab exercise...I find it is my legs that are getting burnt out by the end of it, much more so than the abs...am I doing it wrong?
Down to 72.2kg, about 4kg lighter than were I started now, and lost maybe 0.6kg in the last 7-8 days. Am hoping there will be a tipping point when the muscle mass comes on and my overall weight goes up. Since I apparently suck at fantasy football, I am just going to have to go out for the NFL.
These valleys and peaks will keep on coming. Don't think too much about them just ride the wave. Sometimes that means hating life, sometimes you feel more alive than you ever have. All process.
ReplyDeleteWatching people eat sucks, but making fun of the french is awesome.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that I appear to have become completely impervious to watching people eat these days, so I know it can happen for you. In the meantime, stealing kids' ice cream and throwing it at their mothers is a completely reasonable coping mechanism.
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